How am I feeling?
Surprisingly still pretty "refreshed" & happy for the most part. I'm trying to live up to that new year's resolution of keeping a blog - it's frustrating only because I have other things to do, but plenty on my mind. Siempre.

I just don't have the time to piece my thoughts together, nor do I have the attention span for a blog. If I honestly wanted to write about EVERYTHING that I feel right now, then I don't think I'd be able to do it.. .because it'd be way too much to write! I feel rather sick (internally), however my mind& heart are doing just fine!

I'm really becoming hard on myself. About everything. Friendships. Relationship. Academics. I'm really battering&bruising myself. I just wanna be happy, you know? But i've always felt that it's easier to be sad than happy. But I don't want a reason to feel sad anymore... and it seems like I always force it upon myself to feel melancholy.

melancholy&crestfallen are som of my favourite words , but it doesnt mean i wanna feel like that! Those feelings cause way too many problems in my social life.. I just want to live a happy life with Calvin. And that's all. I want to drown out everything else, people's opinions (especially) & other people- because they shouldnt matter in our relationship.

Help me, God.
Help me to put the greatest trust in him,
Because i've never felt so sure about anything before.<3